Breaking up with a narcissist is a life changing decision. You will gain back your freedom, confidence, and self-esteem. It may seem an easy road to take, but you must also prepare yourself and plan your actions very well.
You may have feelings of uncertainty whether what you are doing is right. People often believe that they can change their narcissistic partners’ behavior. It is either you accept them for what they are and stick it out or leave. Keep in mind that it is not your role to be a hero for your narcissistic partner unless you are a certified shrink. You will only compromise your sanity when attempting to do so.
Once you are decided here are some tips on how you can proceed to break up with a narcissist.
Be Firm on Your Decision
They will try to win you back and manipulate you into taking back your decision of leaving them. Don’t ever think that a narcissist will change overnight just for fear of losing their partner. You know that it’s best for you to leave and follow through with it.
If you feel vulnerable to their advances, be sure to do whatever it takes to avoid their efforts to reach out. Change your phone number, return all their things back and leave no reason for them to meet up again with you. Surround yourself with friends and loved ones and find new places to hang out.
Deal with Your Emotions
Give yourself time to grieve. Get some counseling if needed or write a journal to release pent up emotions. Cry and get mad if you feel like it. Never bottle up feelings because it will only cause you more problems.
Forgive and Let Go
Forgive yourself for putting up with an abusive partner and likewise forgive that partner. This gives you back control of your life. You know that you can no longer be dictated upon and look forward to a new beginning.
It’s often difficult to find closure with narcissists, such as why things need to end. Their emotional capacity is often so impaired that it is often best to try to find closure on your end. Cutting off cold turkey is so you can begin to heal apart from them. Having a little contact with them will only create opportunities for them to try to convince you not to leave until you give in and the cycle starts again. To allow for even a little contact every so often is like leaving the door unlocked to your house when you’ve been alerted that the neighborhood has experienced multiple thefts. People who have either married or had children with a narcissist or were children of narcissists will need a lot of emotional support, healing, and very firm boundaries with minimal contact as possible.