How to Keep the Spark Alive

Being romantically involved with someone for a long time, be it in a marriage or long-term relationship, brings its share of ups and downs in terms of connection and passion. What starts out as us being deeply in love and wanting to spend every waking moment together, naturally changes over time. When life is always changing around us, our commitments, responsibilities and even our loyalties change over time.

Time actually becomes a more precious commodity as we age and the demands for our attention mushroom. Other than our relationship, there are other things demanding our time. We become busy, even overwhelmed with the things on our to-do list. As the requests for our time steadily increase, work and home responsibilities can begin to trump leisure time. Struggles with proper time management and prioritizing, can cause passion, romance, and even sex to get pushed down lower and lower on the priority list.

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When we stop tending to our relationship as a top priority, it is affected. Slowly at first, maybe initially it even goes unnoticed that it has been a long time since you spent any alone time with each other, laughed together, caught each other’s glance across the room. But over time, if left unaddressed this can grow into a deep crack in the foundation, leaving you feeling disconnected and at times, disinterested.

Relationships and marriages require continuous work. For things to continue successfully over the span of years, making time for nurturing the relationship is an absolute necessity. The work part comes in through communicating and resolving issues as they come up instead of ignoring them. A good way to maintain this harmony is by making time to solely be with one another, to talk and enjoy each other’s company.

Sometimes we underestimate how much a weekly date can contribute to maintaining the passion in our relationships. It can create the time and place for old feelings to stir up, for nostalgia, for reconnecting. It can be fun to just get out of the house, try something new and have a carefree moment together. Make this a tradition, something that you do regularly despite how busy and overwhelmed you find yourself. It doesn’t have to be costly; this is where creativity and playfulness can kick in. Take turns planning date night; make it fun, exciting and new by trying things that you wouldn’t usually do. Having new experiences together will strengthen your bond and create something to look forward to.

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