Is Silent Intimacy Killing Your Relationship?

Communication is a strong asset when it comes to a relationship, without it – it can damage your relationship quickly. What happens when the two of you fight, or are angry, disappointed, and hurt by each other? Often times couples give each other the silent treatment, when the two of you argue, therefore creating a situation where the two of you aren’t on talking terms. We often decide on shutting down, and silently containing each other’s thoughts and emotions. By doing so, you break the communication between the two of you, causing a disruption in your relationship. If the two of you keep up this silent treatment for longer than healthy, your relationship is bound to get damaged as when you’re silent you’re keeping your thoughts to yourself, and have no way of notifying your loved one about what’s bothering you, and what the problem ultimately is. Silence is a defense mechanism that we use in order to protect ourselves from hurting and, but unknowingly we affect intimacy between one another in the long run.

There are two big factors that highly impact intimacy between one another. The dismissal and disregard of someone’s feelings, concerns and what has hurt us and affected us, will essentially put one of you in the wrong, and will ultimately invalidate your perspective and point of view. How would you avoid dismissal and disregard? First off, when approaching your partner make sure that you’re in a positive setting, and definitely don’t discuss your concerns and problems via text. Having an argument over text never ends well, because whether you like to admit it or not one of you will leave one another on reading after a certain point. Furthermore, you lose the aspect of communicating face to face, and using body language to show what you feel, eye contact also plays a huge role in not only communication but intimacy as well.

Another thing to remember is once the two of you have sat down together it’s important to emphasize that you are listening to them, despite whether or not you agree with their perspective. When responding to them, tell them that you acknowledge their concerns and that you understand what they’re feeling. It shows that you aren’t disregarding their feelings and that ultimately you’re interested in resolving the problem between the two of you.

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The topic of sex can be something that the two of you avoid discussing as well, and stay silent about it due to being afraid of hurting or insulting one’s feelings. Instead of being open about what you’d prefer and what you’d like less, are often brushed aside which ultimately leads to limited sex. It’s important that as a couple the two of you practice open communication, in order to be able to discuss things without feeling judged. In a relationship, you should be able to understand each other to the core and not have a fear of being judged by your partner. Look into reading a book about things that can boost your sex lives, and that can definitely let you and your partner know what the two of you are open to trying, and what you aren’t.

It’s never too late to reestablish communication in a relationship. Even if the two of you are having trouble communicating between one another, fear not this is something that can be restored. A good first step into reestablishing communication is creating a conversation in a positive environment. Think about all the positive things you admire, and love about your partner and it will instantly put you in a better, healthier and happier mood. Furthermore, it’ll put your mind into a happier and better frame, than what it would have been if you were picking out and pointing out all the negative aspects that you don’t like that your partner holds. It’s important to convey a positive message, in a positive environment and your significant other will pick up on it and will appreciate not only the action but the effort of reestablishing communication.

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