Why does breaking up feel so bad? For those of us who had the unfortunate experience of a bad breakup, we can relate to that universal feeling of constantly feeling tired, not having the desire to eat, to see friends, or to have any fun of any kind.
I am sure that most of us have heard phrases like, “in time, you will get over it” or “live it up, you are free now.” To an extent, these words are true. For those of us who are currently going through a breakup, we can not seem to see that light at the end of the tunnel.
After a breakup, your main focus should be how you are going to move on and get back to feeling normal. But if you are not careful, you may unknowingly prolong the heartache by refusing or not being able to completely detach yourself from your past relationship. Only when you can completely let go of your past relationship will you be able to move on, have fun, and get your life back.
The first thing to avoid doing is continuing to check on your ex. After a breakup, you may feel the need to drive by your ex’s apartment or job. Ways this can affect your progress to becoming a healthy person again depends on what you see. For instance, seeing your ex happy, smiling with a carefree attitude can give you an impression that he/she is over you, which can send you spiraling even deeper into depression. Even worst, imagine seeing your ex with another partner. This can cause anger and, in some cases, uncontrollable behavior.
Another common mistake to avoid is visiting places associated with your past relationship. For example, if you and your ex used to visit a particular park or eat at a particular restaurant, it would be a good idea to stay as far away as possible from those places.
In these hard times, friends are essential to helping you speed up the process of you leaving your past behind and moving forward. Though you may not feel like it, the best thing for you to do would be to go out and interact with others. Undoubtedly, your problems will still be on your mind, but a little distraction will not hurt.
Taking on a long-term project can also help when trying to move on after a breakup. Always wanted to write a book or design a website, but did not have the time because you spent all of your free time with your ex? Now would be the best time to start such projects. Working on something that you are interested in can be so much of a distraction that you may not notice that the pain you were feeling from your break up has stopped.
Only then, when you can go through your day without constantly thinking about your ex, would you be ready to fully comment yourself to starting a new relationship.