Checking up on your ex on social media is one of the hardest things to resist. When you have them constantly on your mind, it’s tough not hop over to facebook to see what they are up to. This is always a bad idea.
Looking at your ex is proven to cause negative effects on your emotional state, scientifically proven in fact. Studies also have shown that a staggering 90 percent of us do indeed check up on our ex’s on social media.
Doing this will only prolong your emotional heartache. Looking at photos of your ex, especially with another lover, causes the same parts of the brain to trigger as physical pain.
“Overall, these findings suggest that exposure to an ex-partner through Facebook may obstruct the process of healing and moving on from a past relationship,” the study states.
The study also showed that people who regularly check up on their exes on Facebook are more likely to have feelings of wanting to get back together with them, regardless of if they were the dumper or dumpee. Furthermore, Facebook surveillance has been proven to be linked with low personal growth. Essentially, you are not moving forward as long as you are pining over your ex on Facebook.
So should you just remove your ex from Facebook? Opinion vary on this, staying friends on Facebook has shown to actually help you get over your ex. Seeing boring status updates or pictures of their day to day life can actually re-enforce the notion that the breakup was for the best. Often times it will show that your interests are vastly different, as your ex may be attending events you aren’t interested in or hanging out with people you don’t necessarily want to be involved with.
On the other hand, it could show the exact opposite, your ex may be attending events that you are interested in or spending time with people you both held as mutual friends. This can make things tougher, as you’ll find yourself wondering why the two of you are no longer together when you share so many common factors.
The bottom line is that it really comes down to how you are feeling at the time and the relationship you shared up to the point of the breakup. When it comes to people it’s hard to find a one fits all solution as human beings are unique by nature. Everyone deals with these things differently, so you have to apply what is best for you. If you find yourself feeling worse by keeping your ex as a friend on social media, it is probably best you cut off that connection, otherwise, it may benefit you to keep your ex in the loop.
If you find yourself posting online for the sole reason of impressing your ex or rubbing salt in the wounds, you need to either stop this behavior or remove them completely. It’s all about moving on, and if a social media connection is preventing you from doing so, it’s time to drop them from your friends list.