A very common statement is that men and women simply cannot be just friends. Even if they are, it’s mostly and act and will eventually bubble up into an awkward hook-up or someone getting their heart stomped all over. This isn’t always the case though, and as with all questions revolving around people, tends to come down a “one size doesn’t fit all” answer. Some people are able to keep those relationships going without falling prey to the aftermath so many others have found themselves in. The majority cannot accomplish this.
The issue gets further complicated when you have already accepted that you have feelings of a romantic nature for this person. But hey, you’re both fully functioning adults, you can work past this, right? Probably not. There are many reasons for this but here are some of the prevelant.
You Want What You Can’t Have
It’s human nature to want what you cannot have. This has been proven at the most basic nature. A kid will put a toy away and have zero interest in it, but the moment another kid starts to play with the toy, it’s the only thing they want. This applies tenfold to relationships. The friend you have a crush on is forbidden fruit and it’s likely only a matter of time before you try and take a bite.
Dealing with Other Romantic Interests
I don’t think we need to explain how hard it is to listen to the one you’re in to go on about someone else. If you are trying to be friends with a crush, this is going to happen. This is the same reason why most people cannot remain friends with their ex, it’s simply too painful to watch them go off with someone else when you want that person to be you.
You Can’t Move On
It’s tough to get over an ex, and in that situation, you have the benefit of knowing it’s over and you are not right for each other. In this situation though, you don’t know that. Maybe you are perfect together, maybe it could work. These questions will drive you mad, and end up being extremely taxing on your mental health. No good.
You Are Wasting Precious Time
As long as your heart is tied to someone else there is very little room for other potential partners. In the case of a crush you are close with, the “what if” will often hold you back from other people who may be perfect for you. This is toxic, we all only have so much time on this earth, and to spend it pining over someone you can’t have, or are wondering if you can have, will be costly to you in the long run.
So what do you do if you’re in this situation? The best course of action is to make your feelings clear. If there is a chance for a relationship, it will start with that. If there isn’t, at least you’ll know. If you already know that you can’t be with this person, then it’s probably time to let go.